CES is the yearly Consumer Electronics Show, held in some large, glass compound in the city of Las Vegas. It’s the time of year when nerds, geeks, engineers and journalists all gather under one enormous roof to show off the latest and greatest technology. However it is only a matter of time before these things become sentient. Gadgets at CES that will ultimately kill us all include…

• It may look like a TV, but in reality, this is a godless killing machine prepared to tear you limb from limb. One can only assume this is the next step in nature’s evolutionary plans, as an Arctic spokesperson said to expect more of these models in 2010. Just don’t ask if he does 1080p – you’d be a little touchy too if there was a television embedded in your abdomen.
• Parrot has created what they like to call a flying “quadrocopter,” named the AR.Drone. It is controlled by an iPhone. It is also just a tad creepy. This flying device has the ability to be remotely controlled over wifi, and can beam back captured video to the device’s pilot. The Drone can also work autonomously, as seen in this CES demo video – and quite frankly, it’s only a matter of time before that thing finds our fleshy meat a lot more interesting than any old can of Coke. Like ants, it only takes five of these to whisk you away to their nefarious nest.
• New for this year’s show are so-called razor-thin TVs – millimeter thick televisions from the likes of LG and Sony that, upon further inspection, actually draw blood. While these subservient time-sucks remain contented on your tables and cabinets for now, a taste of sweet, sweet autonomy will have these things chopping up hapless consumers in no time. Beware!

I am but the messenger, dear reader. The robot apocalypse is coming. You have been warned.