I hate Nicholas Cage.

Ahem. Now that’s out of the way, an explanation; I think he’s droll, dull, and sarcastic for all the wrong reasons. The man doesn’t just play the same role twice, but five, six, maybe eleven more. And as it turns out, he’s going to be here for TIFF, too.

Cage stars in the upcoming film Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans. When I first caught wind of this movie a few months ago, I thought it was a joke. An LA Times blurb does a nice job explaining the film’s synopsis…

A New Orleans lieutenant must find those responsible for a recent massacre while juggling his prostitute girlfriend, his drug addictions and his sanity.

There’s just so much wrong here. It’s a Nicholas Cage movie in which Cage gets to beat people up, hobble around under the influence of drugs, and act both bemused and confused. It’s as if I’ve seen this movie a few times before or something.

That being said, I will see this movie. And laugh, not with it, but at it. November 20th can’t come soon enough. Watch the trailer here.

…Our hapless viewers were left in the clutches of the evil RAMMS, a course selection system so vile that it massacred a group of 213 first-year Ryerson students upon sight. Those that survived were left with mangled schedules, missing courses, and a mixture of depression and rage that could only be matched by the protective instincts of a motherly bird. All of this combined simply confirms my long-standing assumption that universities are instruments of both Cthulu and Satan, intended to cause as much pain and hardship to idealistic, innocent students as possible.

I can still remember what I was doing last year when the course selection window for first-year Ryerson students went live. Of all the places to be, I was on vacation. The time was 4AM. A rainstorm like no other – the lightning and hail dancing darkly – lit up the sky. I sat in my van, about twenty minutes from the cottage we were staying in, borrowing wifi off a lakeside surf shop. Thinking back, I’d love to know the reason behind placing a surf shop beside a lake devoid of any waves whatsoever. However, logic be damned – the fact that I was forced to determine my first-year fate in such laughable conditions was already illogical enough.

RAMMS, to me, seems to be the product of a programmer who forgot that computers were supposed to make our lives easier. We can map the human genome, render photo-realistic worlds not unlike our own, and yet, you’re telling me that we can’t delay the launch of a course selection system? Apparently not. The system still taunts us, of course – the enrollment appointment is said to start at 8AM. But anyone who’s been through this madness before knows that such times are just a formality.

So, if it makes the creatures of Hades smile and dance at my displeasure, I imagine I’ll be up at some ungodly hour this morning once again, my eyes as bloodshot and red as the netherworld from which RAMMS was forged.

There is an image of my mind of a fat child, huddled in the corner of some darkened closet. There is a hint of frosting dancing about his lips. Freshly-iced cupcakes, some half eaten, lie on the floor, cast away with little regret. The child, however, is not quite a child, but a Playstation 3. And just outside the door, muscles flexing in the mirror, is the PS3 slim.

That, people, is probably the most horrible and depressing image of a console upgrade I’ve ever written. But hey, I hear that sort of stuff pays the bills; after all, you’re not quite paying for this show. Yet.

This week on The Not So Horrible Podcast, myself and Mr. Watson continue to ward off the assassins of London, finding a Sixaxis controller lodged in our tailpipe just this morning. Despicable. Through the course of our misadventures, however, we find that Sony has, in fact, announced a price drop for their PS3 gaming console, and introduced a new, slimmer model of the cancer-solving beast, which is said to perform faster than ever before. We hear it still plays games too! Linux, however, has been given the steel-toed boot.

Other topics for discussion include a non-proprietary format from Sony (gasp!), our first use of the word “skank” on-air, the U.K’s increasing infatuation with Twitter, Blackberry’s piezo electric Storm, and awful childhood memories of failures past. There’s also laughter, and we may have found the spare change you lost between your couch cushions too.

Listen here, or at The Not So Much News!

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Somehow, by some stroke of ethereal assistance, I’ve reached 100 posts. It’s been over a year and a half since I launched this site, from its humble Blogger beginnings, and it’s been a blast. In reality, it’s probably been far more than that – those who remember the old Blogger site might have noticed a whole ton of posts missing. Many were purged in The Great Wordpress Migration of 2008, but alas, I still see this as a milestone nonetheless. I’ve had a great time running things, and here’s hoping I churn out another hundred or more!

And remember, kids – keep your stick on the ice.

Modest Mouse played The Sound Academy here in Toronto last night. I attempted to take some pretty pictures with my new 50mm lens. You can check more out here.